E-mails keep family and friends up to date and enable patients to keep in touch

When a close relative is admitted to hospital, the family often have to deal with many anxious phone calls from worried friends and relations.

Although a phone call is best, it is not always possible to keep up with the endless requests for information, especially when hospital visits take up so much time. 

When my mother was admitted to hospital following a massive brain haemorrhage, I asked people who phoned if they would like to be added to my e-mail list. I then kept them all updated on any changes to my mother's condition, urging them to telephone if that information wasn't enough.

Five months on, I still send e-mails at least once a week.  I know that many of the thirty five people on the list then 'forward' that message to other people.  Many reply and ask for kind messages to be passed on to my mother.  I then print those off and my sister then keeps them in an album (we are now on volume 3) for my mother to enjoy at her leisure.

Many long stay patients find that, inevitably, friends and family are not able to maintain regular visits or card-writing.  The 'round-robin' e-mail may not suit everyone but it has kept thoughts of my mother fresh in the minds of many people.  I feel that people have been less likely to forget her.

It is very important when sending these e-mails that you are sensitive to the needs of everyone on the list.  I don't report bad things if I can avoid it.  I highlight every possible piece of good news.  I always make it clear in the 'title' of the e-mail that I am not about to announce something awful.  So 'My mother continues to make some progress' or 'Mum's had a good day' are easy ways to communicate to everyone that the e-mail is not about to deliver some devastating news.

By ensuring that people can still phone me it they want extra information or simply a chat, I hope I have avoided alienating friends.  Some do 'phone and I love it when they do .  The e-mails simply reduce the number of calls I get.

Jill